when your past resurfaces

I never thought I would see the day when I'd have to face the person from my past who I was in love with and wouldn't show it to anyone. He wasn't even a boyfriend but a close friend of mine that wanted to explore and now he's come back to try and reconnect after 11 years. I'm not sure how to feel about it all cause it just brings up too many emotions and memories. He was asking me what I've been up to and if I still thought about him and that I shouldn't forget where I came from. But you know after I came out, not many people that were in our little group of friends stuck around to be my friend. A majority of them moved on and had their own life that didn't include me and to be perfectly honest I'm kinda OK with that. I'm also hoping that by reconnecting with this person he doesn't expect me to just pick up where we left off 11 or so years ago cause I'm in a relationship with someone right now and I just can't be doing that kinda stuff. I told him how I felt about him back then and how it affected me. He didn't realize I had such strong feelings for him in the end. And I never really forgot about him, he was my first after all. How can you forget your first? OK so I keep pausing on this lil blog every now and this for this entry cause he keeps talkin and the more he does the more I just don't care so I guess I'm over it .

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